A 1-Minute Dream Test

Posted: July 8, 2010 in motivation, what makes us tick
Tags: , ,
Having a dream is as human as eating. Perhaps even more human, for horses eat too, while androids dream of electric sheep, but that’s besides the point. We all have dreams we want to achieve one day. Or do we?

Sure, we all (mostly) want to be rich and famous and all that jazz. But is that The Dream? The one that would make you completely happy once accomplished. The one that dwarfs any other dream you have? And if this is not your Dream, than what is? Is it that house you’ve always wanted to buy? That novel you’ve always wanted to write? That guitar you’ve always wanted to master?

True to our human nature, we have more questions than answers. Spotting that dream only leads to more questions. Is this the right dream? Worse, is it attainable? What if it’s a wrong dream? What it’s an impossible-to-achieve dream? What if I spend years chasing it, only to fail, or even worse — achieve it and realize that I don’t really care?

What if– you know what, forget what-ifs. Let ‘em go. Throw them into garbage where they belong. For some reason people ask me for advice, so here’s my advice on the subject. It’s just my opinion, so take it for it’s worth. I’ll tell you what works for me.

There’s only one way to know if the dream you have is The Dream: you have to believe in it with all you heart. Well, duh, you’re likely saying now, thank you for nothing. What’s that supposed to mean? Well it means precisely that. Once you get a hold of The Dream you will know. There will be no doubt left in your mind, heart, soul or whatever it is that makes us tick. You WIll Know. If you’re not sure, if you don’t really feel right about it, if it’s something others expect you to do, but you don’t care for, if it sounds great, but doesn’t make you go “Yess!”… then more likely than not, it is not The Dream. Now, it’s fine to chase it, but you can expect some disappointment once you reach it.

And in case you do have a dream, but still don’t know if it’s The Dream, here’s a very simple test to try. Choose the pastime you enjoy the most. Not your dream, just the stuff you like to do. Watching TV, going out with friends, skying, diving, reading mysteries, woodworking… you know what it is. Now imagine not doing that activity for a year. Completely. 100%. Instead think of spending every minute of your spare time going after your dream. Next, imagine yourself still not achieving that dream 12 month from now. Making some progress, yes, but not achieving. And now.. yep, here’s the catch.. imagine yourself still being happy at that point about that choice you made a year ago. The choice to forget about your favorite pastime for 365 days to chase a dream and still not achieving it. How does it feel? If you can seriously imagine yourself being happy about that choice, you’re staring at your Dream. If you can’t, that’s not your Dream. It may be still a nice thing to after, but don’t fool yourself.

For no pastime can top the feeling of going after The Dream. Your Dream.

  1. psychicsarah says:

    ‘“Yess!”… ‘

    Yep … You know it makes sense…


  2. psychicsarah says:

    Red pill: Blue Pill?

    Mm…there IS another possibility…that your *Dream* will come to meet YOU…*Destiny*

    Destiny can deliver our Dreams as long as we bide our time…and of course as long as Destiny coincides with our Dreams then we are onto a winner.

    Okay it is an unusual approach and is probably the exception to the rule. But sitting in what might appear to be a passive, receptive, *listening* groove works too.

    It is not easy and requires alot of faith in The Dream; but it IS another option…and sure well…if you *know* well then you *know*…

    You don’t necessarily have to chase the tail of The Dream. Sometimes you just have to be patient.

    I believe that once you *know* what is going to happen (As opposed to what you might LIKE to happen) you can actually preserve energy, sit back and wait for the uinverse to put it into place.

    Going after the Dream does not necessarily have to be a relentless grafting or striving…though it may be that too – particularly if that is your life plan and pattern…

    An example…at the age of 17 I knew 3 things that would definitely happen by a certain point (and they all have). One of them was that I knew I would write and be published.

    This was …not so much a dream as a *knowing*. In other words I had a take-it-or-leave-it detachment.

    For me it has always been the *knowings* rather than the *Dreams*.

    IN fact when I have had *Dreams* they have tended to be blocked and contradicted by someone else’s agenda or *Dream*…Situations which felt like *fate* rather than *Destiny*.

    I have learned the hard way that there is no point having a *Dream* when you also *know* it aint part of Destiny’s/God’s plan…

    It makes sense to pursue Dreams for sure…but as you say deep inside there may also be a niggle that something about it does not resonate as a truth…You might be unconsciously aware that it may be blocked by someone’s *agenda* down the line particurlaly if it is a relationship issue.

    Awaiting your Destiny by carrying a *knowing* as opposed to a *Dream* is another approach; particularly if The Dream for you is linked to relationships, personal happiness etc rather than to worldy status

    Once again this is just a different way of saying the same thing as *Unmaskd*…

    When you follow the *Knowing* in your Heart…you can not fail…cos that is the *Key* which unlocks your *Destiny*


    • Jennifer says:

      I’m glad you brought this up… as *knowing* the *dream* can actually be difficult than discovering what the dream is.

      Great post Unmaskd…
      Great comment Psychicsarah…

      What does it mean if I dream of electric sheep too?


    • unmaskd says:

      > Once again this is just a different way of saying the same thing as *Unmaskd*…
      Yes, we’re closer on this than it may sound. But overall, my approach is less fatalistic. When I know I act. Heck, I act even when I don’t know.


      • psychicsarah says:

        HAha…yep but my story has warranted this approach for the moment….(about to *act* very soooooon xx)…

        I’m not fatalistic at all btw! (Strong faith that I am guided & looked after…was just put in a position where I had no choice but to live in this *groove* for a while…(long story)


      • psychicsarah says:

        I tend not to *act* until I *FEEL* it is right to do so…but when I do it is often anything but logical (yet it works out)


    • amy says:

      Thank you so much! I don’t know how I found this site and your twitter but I have spent the last 4 hours reading it!

      I just started stand up comedy 4 months ago. Its something I have always wanted to do and I am giving it my all! Its scary how hard people make it out to be but the I love it!

      I’m 33 and I know its a long road but, it a high I have never felt before!
      thank u again. Some of the things you wrote made me cry!


  3. […] This post was Twitted by JessKnuckey […]


  4. Jolanda says:

    Get on your winged horse and storm the heavens. Follow your dreams and make them come true. Reach for the rainbow in the sky. It sounds so simple and it makes me so angry. It’s lovely to dream, but then reality sets in. Bills have to be paid, maybe mouths need to be fed. People depend on you and you can’t let them down. Following your dreams is for dreamers and only a few of us actually have the talent, the luck and the backup to make it all come true. The rest of us just have to accept a lesser fate. It doesn’t just take working 24/7 to make your dream come true. You can have all the talent in the world, and still nothing happens. You have to be at the right place at the right time. Meet the right people and have them back you up. You have to have something special to begin with. If it was as simple as just working hard to make a dream come true, we all would reach that goal, but that is not how the real world works. There are only just a lucky few who live their dreams and the rest of us can only dream and have to face the reality of everyday life. Is making music your ultimate dream, but are there children in the equation? Will you sacrifice them on your altar of dreams, or will you make the sacrifice and get that boring dead-end day job and put hem first? Is your dream more important than keeping a roof over their heads? It is just a simple example of the choices one has to make, the pain you might inflict on others just to make your dreams come true. Does this mean I am against following your heart’s desire and fighting for dreams to come true? Of course not! But most importantly, keep it real. Keep your feet on the ground and do not leave a path of destruction behind you. We all come with strings and they cannot be ignored. Compromise, be realistic. Open your eyes and get real. Make the right choice for you, but don’t forget about those who love you. Life isn’t a one man show.


    • psychicsarah says:

      Jolanda…. I really believe that you can still pursue valid Dreams alongside responsibilities.

      You are assuming that people s dreams all involve fame, fortune and other apparently egocentric trappings…

      I know mine certainly DON’T involve these things. There was a time not too recently when my *Dream* was simply to get from one day to the next! IN a way *Survival* was an achieved *Dream* for a time…

      You see *Dreams* are personal to each of us. They are generally construed to be what is going to make you happy…and if this involves raising kids and being fulfilled by *every day* things then so be it…

      (this simple, grounded life style is in fact my current dream in that I have been alone for so long away from close family etc…so despite being *known* in Ireland and having had a measure of success…my *dreams* are more in line with what YOU have!)

      Having said that the *picket fence* Dream is not more or less valid than the Dreams of the city boy who has managed to ground his *Dream* of Porche, penthouse and mistresses galore! Each to his own as they say….

      At the end of the day it is all about preferences, inclinations, choices and *DESTINY*

      It was clearly your Destiny to be a mum and have a family…for me that would be a *Dream* come true…for you it seems to be currently a bit of a stress?

      I do believe the KEY to finding fulfillment re our *Dreams* starts with the appreciation of what we have (WHATEVER our circumstances)…We can then build on this in the knowledge that it is never too late to pursue our *Dreams*.

      All we have to do acknowledge our state of affairs and then proceed with a game plan. There is absolutely no reason why your Dreams can not incorproate your family…(do you want them to?)

      Following Dreams does not mean we are ungrounded or that we walk around with our heads in the clouds. I for one am a practical Leo/Virgo type…and I would be the first to spot something that is *never gonna happen*…

      It all leads back to our inner *knowing*. All we can all do is acknowledge where we are at and then build on it…

      There is aboslutely no reason why kids should hold us back…indeed I am sure they would be the first to benefit from the achievement of their parents’ dreams…


    • unmaskd says:

      Jolanda — great comment, and I equally agree and disagree with it. This post is not about going after that dream on the winged horse. It’s about understanding what that dream is. More often than not people chase things they only think they want. I know. I’ve been there. The world around us has certain expectations and it can be really hard to realize what *you* really want. Going after it is a totally different story.

      I disagree with this part: “Following your dreams is for dreamers and only a few of us actually have the talent, the luck and the backup to make it all come true”. We all have talent necessary to go after our dreams. if you don’t have that talent.. well it’s a wrong dream. Again, I know. I had to give up a dream when I realized I didn’t have the right talent to be great at it. But that only helped me to focus on what I’m really — and I mean REALLY — good at. And getting better at it is a very rewarding feeling.

      Last but not least your point about having responsibility for others and keeping it real, is a very important one. And again, I’m speaking from experience. One of my next posts will be about this.


  5. Amy says:

    I get what your saying…although as the reader, I would find this so much more interesting if I really knew your “dream”. I would say this even if you weren’t unmaskd (or rather in the case masked… I think you hold out so we can’t figure out who you are). I know what your going to say, it shouldn’t matter, but I think it does. 🙂


  6. Diane says:

    I so appreciate your insights & posts. This is exactly where I am right now. I will ponder what you said as I drive around the east coast pursuing my dream.


  7. Diane says:

    Just read your post, Like it. Actually have done what you said with miraculous results.


  8. Phil says:

    Thanks for writing this! I’m curious to see what folks have to say. By the way, the auto-generated ads and suggested blogs are always amusing!

    I create opportunity and bust my ass all over my life. But I’m stuck with this topic, this Dream. I know exactly what I want. I just don’t know how to pursue it like I would a job or a degree. I don’t know how my approach will work to find someone with whom I can start a family (or at least someone that can tolerate my punk ass and my temporarily crazy schedule). Maybe now isn’t the best time. Or maybe that’s just me making up excuses for myself again. Or maybe I can keep chipping away at it, like a pastime. Or maybe I can go on a reality show–that always works, right?

    I need to start a tab at this place.


  9. Snapurly says:

    Great post. I imagine that most of us have had several opportunities to take “the red pill” and start down the road towards it. However, for one reason or another, we have always taken “the blue pill” and stayed where we are. Like you say, if we want to realize our dream (whether it ends up being a success or failure), we have to be proactive and reach out for it. Best of luck in the pursuit of your dream!


  10. @brokeassgirl on twitter says:

    I’ve had my dream come true. Less than a decade ago. The big novels published, the big book deal, the whole nine. (I’m writing under an anonymous name/email now – a bit of my own unmaskd business I guess…) You know what? Sometimes it’s not enough. Sometimes it only lasts what seems like a second. And sometimes it isn’t what it seems. It was a wonderful opportunity, a lot of fun, great money but now I am back at square one. There is much more to the dream than the initial “yes”, the offer, the open palm, the check in hand. There is the ability to make it last. And that takes more than you/me. That takes hard to understand things like publicity and the perfect moment and sometimes ridiculous amounts of giving away of very personal information in exchange for attention. And I wasn’t willing to give my soul away to keep the whole machine going, I guess. I don’t regret that. But I do miss doing what I truly loved for a living instead of as it is now – once again a hobby I wish I could make a living doing. And now, with the sad longing from KNOWING what I’m missing out on. As the fantastic British band James said, “If I hadn’t seen such riches, I could live with being poor…”


    • L says:

      I understand the complexities that often underlie our dreams and only emerge when we attain them. For you it seems like it came with too many contingencies. In my case I achieved my dream but the dream requires more, with new goals and new demands.

      Moreover my dream in not one-dimensional; I am always working on one part (career) while worrying about the other part (family), and vice versa.

      While my happiest moments have been connected to pursuing and living my dream and I would never give up either part of it, I sometimes wonder if the dream is working for me or I am just working to feed the dream, like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors.

      I know this sounds like sour apples to those who haven’t gotten close to their dreams yet, and I accept that. However, we all live within our own experiences.

      But maybe this is the result of feeling stressed right now in this hellishly hot, overly-humid city that smells of garbage and failed deodorants.


  11. Ashley says:

    As in any equation there are variables that effect the outcome. In every decision there are pro’s and con’s. I think many valid points have been made. I think the best way to look at this just depends on what The Dream is to YOU. Each person has a different Dream. And depending on what The Dream is, there will be different ways we need to go to achieve it. We need to make a “personal achievement plan” tailored to our individual needs. A BIG variable is obviously children/family. If your Dream is to be a rockstar or movie star, obviously big adjustments are needed. Like was stated earlier we should not sacrifice our children on the alter of our dreams…absolutely not! If it comes down to food for our children or new guitar strings or acting lessons..the answer should be obvious! Priorities. I know that may not sound very “dreamy” but I think it’s very valid. But what if The Dream to you is just happiness? Peace? Love? Or just to learn a new hobby? Well then in these scenarios, I think the equation can be worked around to be achieved in a way that all involved will be taken care of. A child’s happiness depends on their parent’s happiness. Their outlook depends on their parent’s outlook. There will be many adjustments to be made along the way of course, but if The Dream is real to you…it will be and it will be okay. Of course, you are responsible for your own happiness because at the end of the day, nobody else will be. Now, do I believe we should sacrifice others (children or family) to achieve The Dream? No. But all these things and more should go on our “personal achievement plan” made to fit each one of us. It’s not a cookie cutter process. Time is also a very big part of the plan, whether it be “is this the right time?”, or “how long will this take to achieve?” The latter should not matter if it is THE Dream as long as we aren’t just sitting back idle and not making any efforts in the meantime. Do Dreams pass us by? I think they can. So why cause future worry or regret? Make a Pro’s and Con’s list. Be a little fearless, step outside your comfort zone. “Those who don’t stand for something will fall for anything”. 🙂


  12. Dawn says:

    The first half of this post almost sounded like I wrote it. I have a bad habit of starting with lots of questions before I move on to the answers. The writing & guitar playing, also me.

    In some respects I have to agree with Jolanda, trying to pursue your dreams when you have responsibilities to someone other than yourself is extremely difficult and for some people it is impossible. You have a choice between survival and your dreams. I’m lucky that I’m finally in place where I can do both. While I would much rather quit my job and work on my dreams full-time, that’s just not practical. So that means that I do have to give up some fun past-times to work on what’s most important. I do have to ignore my family and friends sometimes and maybe not spend a some Saturdays in the spring hiking and taking pictures. I do regret that I didn’t realize and pursue my dreams earlier in life but I can live with that. To do those years over would undo a lot of bad decisions but also undo a lot of good.

    Even if I never achieve what I’m after, at least I know I will have tried. That’s a regret I can live with.


  13. Nancy says:

    No sure if the “Dream” is one thing, I think the dream is the journey and what you achieve and learn in the process. The real dream “I believe” isn’t a thing or a position but rather validation! Why else do we all Twiiter, Tumblr, Facebook? Is all about being accepted fitting into the big picture. In the end If we can look back and feel good about what we learned and how we acheived it and possibly found joy in our footprint then isn’t that the dream?


  14. psychicsarah says:

    Guess what our Dreams have in common is the *Quest* for fulfillment…

    Seems as if some take more *Fulfilling* than others…

    Guess too if we are really struggling to find fulfillment in our daily lives, the turnaround comes only after we ACCEPT the state of play.

    I believe *acceptance* helps shift the situation and diffuses the barriers of resentment, frustration and confinement we feel. It performs a vital energy shift which brings us a step closer to a breakthrough…

    Once we *accept* where we’re at…we give God, the Universe et al permission to step in…

    If we accept, surrender and detach….we are *delivered*.

    Sometimes It is not so much about Dream fulfilment as survival.

    I do believe we often need to get to this point first (Unless we are very lucky)

    After all there are numerous Destiny stories where the turnaround happens just as we *surrender* and *Give up*


    • Jenny Sky says:

      To dream is to simply have an idea of what we want. I think when we find ourselves in a state of ‘not wanting’ for anything but our daily bread and water, we tend to have more room to see the little *extra* want that our lives require.

      Understanding that “want” and going after it are two different things, as you said… you have to first accept that you don’t have the desire of your heart. If you don’t do this, you begin to live life as an illusion instead of seeing the reality at hand. Reality is, stating to yourself with total honesty that you HAVE a desire is truly a gift in itself. It says that we know something about ourselves that society hasn’t molded, and when we reach for it, we are breaking out of the mold and making our own seperate story.

      I dream of having a home life. Simple… True. Stated… in the air. I give up, and whatever happens happens. Sometimes the closer I feel to the dream, the farther I actually am… and visa versa. The farther I am, the closer I feel… I don’t get it. Maybe it’s because my dream is so personal.

      I can just state my dream, and let the universe bring it to me… but I can also say things like…
      Hey Unmaskd… Do you have a girlfriend?

      Both make me feel like I’m doing something to get to my dream 😉

      So come on now…

      Let’s hear it Maskd Man 🙂

      What’s your girly situation?


      • Jenn P. says:

        Unmaskd never said he was a he. At the beginning several people suggested that Unmaskd was actually Nia Vardalos.


  15. L says:


    seems somehow connected, although this is a bit more articulate


  16. xxx says:

    Liked your imagination experiment.

    I have made my own imagination experiment, I use it when I need to be reminded that my happiness is not attached to my achievements.

    Try imagining as follows:
    You achieve the dream, live & love it, and then it is all taken away (does not matter how, it can be an accident, someone comes along and pushes you of the “number one” spot, family-issues etc. just use your excuse) look into how that makes you feel. Yeah I know, sounds a bit scary doesn’t it, but stick with the feelings. I mean really look into it, and then when you are in the midst of the turmoil, look after the light, the happiness, the smile inside of you. Really surrender to the warm, friendly, peaceful etc world. Fill it with everything you want, here we are speaking “everything is 100% perfect.”

    What you found is that you were living the dream & that a crashed dream does not harm your soul, hence now you know you can go for your dream. All fear of failure is gone. You are happy no matter what!


  17. L says:

    XXX: interesting–
    similar to what Heidegger says about death: if we face the fact that we will die and we accept it, we become free from the anxiety of worrying about death and are free to become our true selves, to truly live life.

    Just a lighthearted comment to brighten your day 😉


    • xxx says:

      Nice 🙂 Heidegger sounds like yogis in India. It is common to practice what you describe in meditations, I’ve just made my own versions…And for Heidegger, maybe it is time to give him a reread, cuz I had forgotten/did not know…


    • 6teight says:

      I relate! To become my true self … my dream Love


  18. Jenny Sky says:

    Boy or Girl… unmaskd has yet to share his/her dream with us.

    Are you living the dream? I’m gunna say yes/no for you…

    Yes, because you are a celebrity for one reason or another so you obviously have a talent and a dream behind that talent that got you where you are.
    No, because you are writing posts like this.

    So what’s your dream.

    I think we deserve to know that, since your name is hidden… this shouldn’t be so hard. My name isn’t Jenny Sky… it’s hardly Jenny. But my dream is this thing I call “Home Life”. I see it slip through my fingers daily as I can’t get a grip on what that dream really looks like. It makes me cry just about daily that I have this dream and not a god damn person to share it with. I’ve been told by MANY people that achieving this dream will not make all my problems go away… but they are wrong 🙂 Because my problem isn’t all the little problems… it’s not being able to share the load of those problems with somebody who is going to build me up, while I in turn take their weight and lighten the load of my little home-body. There is NOTHING I can do accept wait for the *right time* to come my way… and then I’ll stop having to dream about things I can’t have, cause *he* (whoever “he” is) will simply be there.

    stupid time. takes forever.

    What’s your dream Unmaskd?


    • unmaskd says:

      > What’s your dream Unmaskd?
      Whatever it is, these posts are part of going after it.


      • Phil says:

        I have no idea why I like that reply so much, but I do.


      • Randi says:

        I’ve been more of an observer than a participant with your twitter and blog and I can’t express how much this has made me analyze my life from different perspectives. My conclusions so far had made it very obvious that there are many parts of my life that I’ve put incredible effort into avoiding and denying. My dream happened to be a very morbid one to most people. It was to live to 30. I’ve dealt with numerous cancer issues since I was 16. All I ever wanted was to be around long enough to see my brother and my cousins who are way more like sisters than cousins. I never wanted to miss a second of watching them discover their dreams and to grow up to be the amazing people that they are. I was just 32 and finally have hit my 5 year remission date after quite a few reinsurance’s. This should have made my dream a positive thing, but after reaching that goal, I realized that by not missing out on anything that was important in the lives of the people I love, I missed out on what should have been important in mine. Having a dream of just living has made me realize that I wasn’t living. I spent the better part of a decade never thinking past 30 because what was the point, if I had dreamed differently and succeeded it would have been even more soul shattering to me if I worked so hard to get there and have it taken away so soon. I’ve spent the last year working on not letting my fear of living and losing it overpower my need to live. I don’t regret a minute of being there for all the important and unimportant times in the lives of my loved ones, but it meant I wasn’t present in what should have been the important times in my life. I didn’t allow myself to dream for so long, and because of that I have no idea what my dreams are. I think I’m close to truly examining my life and truly participating in it. I have no idea what my dreams are really but I do realize that I CAN dream and those dreams will be infinite.

        As for unmaskd, I think you’ve crossed many dreams off your list successfully, but to me, this blog seems to express a much higher need to connect more deeply with less people than to connect superficially with more people. Less short phrases and more thoughtful interaction and conversation is always a good thing to me because I like seeing things from many different angles. Each different perspective always makes you think and re-examine how it relates to your life. Each post and intelligent comment help me take another step toward living not existing. Understanding that being allowed to dream is almost a dream in itself for me.


      • unmaskd says:

        Randy, at first your comment left me speechless. Musings about dreams and self realization seem shallow comparing to your story. All I can say that we all given a very short time in this world. No one knows when and what is going to hit us. And even the longest lives are not that long. Call it hope or foolishness we all choose to keep going, despite the shortness of that span. But to be told at 16 that that span is going to be much shorter than average — and is going to be filled with pain — must be hell. If you’ve managed to go through this hell, and now, 16 years later still have strength to dream and to look forward, you are so much stronger than millions people who live long, healthy — but so dull and empty — lives. And that strength is what makes all the difference.


  19. Felicia says:

    Well I definitely agree that when you find The Dream that you will just know it. This made me think of the line in one of my favorite movies The Matrix when Neo went to see the Oracle and she told him that being The One was like being in love, noone can tell you that you are in love, you just know it.

    I think one has to be real with him or self and determine if The Dream is a dream or a fantasy. For me there is a star that I would absolutely love to meet to see if we end up dating and fall in love. This to be is a pleasant distraction, a fantasy. On the other hand, I have always been a history nerd; loving the histories of ancient Rome and Egypt. So I dream of one day of being able to visit those countries and see for my own eyes the still standing structures of two amazing cultures.

    I think I know at least for now what The Dream but agree with Psychic Sarah that there comes a point that destiny steps in and plays a major role one’s “The Dream” being realized.


    • psychicsarah says:

      Dear Rhandi

      I wish Drs would not say these things to people…They are not God…they do not really *know*….

      Your story is an amazing miracle … you should perhaps write up the experience in Diary form? (who knows you might get published…you are also very articulate on the page)



  20. Klassp says:

    At first I was totally confused. I was like – well if I don’t do my past time – I’m not working towards my dream. And then it all made sense. I think I realized what you’re saying a while ago.

    My dream is to be a director, to make music videos for musicians I WANT, and to make feature films I WANT. I want to be a director on my own terms. And since I realized this – my favorite past times have been photography and making videos – both of which will make me a better director.

    Everything else I could, would, and kind of already have given up. I guess I’m lucky, I know what I want, and I’m gonna get it.

    I’m confident not because I’m arrogant. I’m confident because in this industry you have to be, especially as a woman.

    Beyond excellent post – you are one of a kind.


  21. JD78 says:

    I guess my dream is a little different than most. I view it as being achieved in sections or parts rather than a journey with a single destination or goal. The thing I desire now is balance. I crave balance in pretty much all aspects. Balance in attitude, balance in family, balance with work, balance with love, and just balance with myself. My current project is balance with attitude.

    Unfortunately I seem to run either idle or gas pedal punched to the floor. I dream of a middle speed or a regulator of sorts. While there are many aspects of being passionate that I embrace and appreciate I think it is a more admirable trait when the possessor has self-control over their gift and it is a gift. I remember when I was small my father telling my mother “You can always tone her down, but you could never tone her up.” I just want to know when enough is enough and that it is acceptable to walk away sometimes. I’ve always been more than capable of defending my cause and “winning” if you will, but I have never felt victorious and i’m trying to teach myself that just because I can doesn’t mean I should. I want to represent myself with a little more poise and grace rather than a smartass with a quick wit and halfway decent vocabulary. Basically I want to choose my battles versus the battles choosing me.

    I know my this probably seems a little odd and out of place and isn’t nearly as meaningful as a lot of others I have read, but right now my dream is to get the dreamer settled and content. I’m fully confident everything else will follow suit.


    • unmaskd says:

      Your dream is not as odd as you make it sound. Having a balance in life is something so many of us try to achieve and fail time after time. In movies it takes Gun Kata to achieve equilibrium. In real life it’s much harder.


  22. rock_angel77 (leigh) says:

    Your blog got me thinking that my dream THE DREAM is just goals i have never truly strived to achieve.
    I mean when i was a kid, a teen, my dream THE DREAM was to one day get married and become a mother.
    That dream THE DREAM came true, all the others are not dreams, they are just goals I have never met, because I just never truly try…


    • unmaskd says:

      There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a dream that’s about starting a family and raising children. In fact, as far as dreams go, the world would’ve been a better place had more people had dreams like this.


      • rock_angel77 (leigh) says:

        wow. thankyou 🙂 my son like i have told you before, is my world, my reason. without him i could not survive.
        and i dont think you are that Nia chick! ahahhaaaaa isn’t she that Greek Aussie from My Big Fat Greek Wedding? LMFAO that is frickin hilarious!


  23. Jess Knuckey says:

    The world around us has certain expectations and it can be really hard to realize what *you* really want. Going after it is a totally different story.

    Unmaskd, are you honestly in my brain right now? This is exactly what I have been thinking of late. Societal expectation and pressue, versus what you want, what your soul craves.. Man.. I am floored by this line in your response to Jolanda.

    My issue is that I am really not sure what is going to make me scream “Yessss!” (well, dreams n’ goals and such ;)) I’m not sure if I’m actually not sure.. or if I am too scared to admit it? Then again.. using the test above might help me figure that out..

    Once I fight off the fear, I should be home and hosed.. but this is a slow moving beast with several complications! Which I am pleased to admit, I am working on!

    Thanking you always for your time and words. JK x


  24. river says:

    I’ve had a dream for as long as I can remember. It has changed as I have grown–as a child I wanted to be an actor so I could be anything I wanted over and over again. In the middle of teen angst–a veterinarian. When I started college I wanted to be a marine biologist. To that end I worked at the Cabrillo Marine Museum in San Pedro, California and enjoyed it very much, but felt anxious–perhaps there was greener grass elsewhere. When I was a 19yo undergrad student studying biology my nephew was born. My sister used drugs and alcohol during pregnancy and my nephew (Ernie) was born with many health problems. He was not expected to survive, but at 3 months was doing well enough to go home or to a home. My sister was unable to handle the situation, but even at 19 I knew I could and while no one forced me or even asked me I could not imagine never seeing this child again…so I became a mom at 19. I have never regretted my decision, but it did throw a monkey wrench in my dream and the plans I made to get there. Looking back at this now, thanks to this discussion, I realized although it was a dream, it was not The Dream.

    Since Ernie had lots of health problems I spent a lot of time in hospitals and despite the serious of the environment, there was something to it that liked. It had a liveliness and purpose that reminds me of airports. I also educated myself in medicine so I could be a better advocate for Ernie. These two things led to a career in medicine. I thrived in this environment and lived a dream or the first of The Dream? However, I had dreamed of a graduate education in sciences and with my career in medicine I focused in that direction. New obstacle: Ernie requires a lot of time and care…what to do? Give up the dream of grad school–hell no! Become patient, stay focused on the dream and work towards it. It took 15 years before I could manage to return to school.

    A MS in Biostatistics and I achieved my goal of grad school, but I was not happy. Much thought and soul searching led me to a MEd in Secondary Education and to teaching high school math and science. For the first time in my life I am happy being what I am. No feelings of anxiousness, no thoughts of greener grass. My lifetime of competitiveness, the compulsion to be the best, of never feeling settled or sure of what I was doing was finally gone. Don’t misunderstand me I take my job seriously and challenge myself to always be a better teacher, but it is not work to me anymore. I do it because it is just a part of me, like breathing.

    So I agree with both sides in this discussion: you must go after The Dream and when The Dream of all the dreams appears, it comes to you. There are a couple of important lessons I have learned during this life process: (1) never give up your dream. Even if you have not figured out what The Dream is for you and are working on one of the dreams, always keep it in focus. Life may force you to take a different path to your dream than the one you’ve mapped out, but be flexible and keep your focus on what you want. (2) Knowing what The Dream is may not be a straightforward or easy thing. Allow yourself permission to make a mistake. Then regroup and get back on track to following what you believe you should be doing. (3) Be honest with yourself about what you want. Is your dream yours or is it someone else’s dream for you?


  25. river says:

    I guess my comment was to long as I was cut off. LOL, probably time for me to stop talking. I want to finish my thought though.

    I found that I enjoyed helping people and my dream, The Dream was/is to have an impact on someone’s life…LOL, in a good way. I am doing that now as a high school teacher, but what I di not realized until today after reading these comments and Unmasked’s post… I have been living my dream every day since the day I took Ernie home from the hospital.


  26. xxx says:


    you just gave me a smile, thanks for sharing 🙂


  27. psychicsarah says:

    Mr *dream* just modified over night… or should I say *Transmogrified*


  28. lo says:

    All this talk of The Dream is annoying me for some reason. I think for many people, there is no one dream that drives them, that inspires them. I think for many, whatever dreams they do have are devoured by real life and it’s mundane demands. I can empathise with what Psychicsarah said- that sometimes dreams are simply about survival. I have certainly experienced that dull desperation of fighting to go from day to day where the smallest accomplishments feel like the biggest milestones. For those whose dreams are abandoned along the way- does that mean their dreams were never real in the first place, or that it wasn’t the true dream that Unmaskd speaks of? I wonder if someone is motivated enough to achieve their dream while another person is not- does that mean the first wanted it more? Or is their drive simply greater? And on that note, is there a correlation between motivation and want?


  29. Karla V. says:

    I have had dreams that became true. A bunch of them. I use to say I need new dreams because I cant imagine myself living without the expectation of seeing my wishes coming true, that wonderful feeling that I feel when I get them. It is amazing and worth. Right now I still have two big dreams, though none of them depends only on me, on my efforts. Im gonna share them with you. 1: Have my own family. Im not a love lucky person. I wish someday Im gonna feel real love for someone, get married, have kids and raise them with love and faith in God. I do my part. Im nice, a good girl and of course, happy with all I have. But I still believe that someday Im gonna find the one. 2: Looking into your eyes and tell you how much I admire you, I love you and how what you do matters to me. And give you a hug that I will remember forever. Once more, it not depends only on me. I tried, but I didnd succeed yet. I still have two months to try. And that’s what Im gonna do. Two months because Im gnna live US in September and go back to my hometown in Brazil.
    I live what you wrote. It makes plan of sense to me.
    Be safe. I love you.


  30. Chantal says:

    Dear Unmaskd,

    Love this post… too many reasons to even try and express here, all I can say is – thank you.

    Also… fantastic Philip K. Dick/ Blade Runner reference… haven’t thought about that in quite some time 🙂

    Kindest regards,


  31. zuie says:

    I don’t know whose dream I’m chasing anymore. I feel like a stranger in my own life. Full of obligations and laundry-lists. Is this really what I signed up for? Is this what I’m spending my time on in the one life I have the chance to live? I’m pursuing a goal that I thought I wanted. This dream feels like a cage. I feel like a bird trapped, fluttering her wings around anxiously, panicking to get out. I feel like a bird who has been living in a cage, but didn’t realize the door was open… that I could freely fly out if I so chose to do so. Here’s the problem, now knowing that the door is open, I am sitting on the limb, terrified. Why? Am I even allowed to fly out? Is it possible for me to chase after a new dream? And what is this new dream exactly? What is it that I want for myself? Why did I fly into that cage in the first place? It wasn’t placed around me.

    I’m so frustrated. I feel like it’s too late to pursue a new dream.

    I’m finishing up my 3rd year or med school (out of 4). I have tons of loans to pay back. Should I use my title of a physician (someday) as a stepping stone for something else? Or is it “okay” to say “hey I don’t think this is what I want anymore?” I feel guilty, because I feel like I am saying that dreams are disposable. I have always had a hard time finishing anything I started. Am I being immature? Why does this path feel like a punishment?

    I have always lived my life the way I thought I was “supposed to” live it. I placed so many expectations on myself, thinking that what I was doing was the “right” thing. I even talked myself out of love. It’s neurotic. No wonder I feel insane. I deprive myself from anything that will really make me happy. These have been my biggest mistakes. I don’t want to make an even bigger one by continuing to live this way.

    I want to be free. I want to be foolish. I want to make mistakes… really live my life as a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book. But I am afraid. I live in the fear that I will take off in another direction only to find that I made another big mistake. Growing up, we were never allowed to make mistakes.

    If I could do it all over again, I would follow my heart over my mind.

    I know it isn’t too late for this, but it is very hard to accept that I will be following my own path. I’m 25. I won’t be done with residency until I’m ~29. Still single. When on Earth will I ever meet anyone who will accept as I am, love me, want to marry me? I ruined the best relationship I had, why can’t I get over him? When will I start a family? Why do I still continue to compare myself to others around me? Why are other people so fucking nosy? Why am I so moody? Why do I always have a million WHYs racing through my head everyday? What are my dreams? I made my full-flegded decision to pursue medicine in 2001. What does the Zuie of 2010 want? Why is it so hard for me to take responsibility over my own life? Why do I feel this sense of urgency?

    Why isn’t my happiness my number one priority?

    I feel so selfish, so spoiled, so ashamed of myself. I have witnessed some of the worst poverty, sadness, disparity- yet, I sit around whining about how this, that, and the other. These are the people I want to help. I put on a smiley face at work all day, because I feel so good to be able to give back. Why then do I feel so bad, empty, and dissatisfied when I come home?

    Woah. I am living part of my dream. It has just looked differently through these negative eyes. I think I just gained some clarity after typing this all out. If I change the way I look at this, this is what I want to be doing. I still have time to live out my other dreams too… I just have to plan them out. If it seems impossible, I have to make it possible. This is my one and only life. I have to be selfish in matters of my dreams. I have to make time. Time is relative anyways. I will make time for what I want. I have to stay positive and optimistic.

    Wow this makes me so sad, because positive, optimistic, and cheerful were the words everyone around me described me as growing up. What happened? Well I won’t go wasting my time pondering that one anymore. Time is precious and I have to move forward and not waste any more of it or any more tears on the things i can’t change. This and your article on motivation have really lit a fire under my butt. I think if I ever get a tattoo, it might be of a torch- to keep that flame going, to keep me moving forward towards my dreams 🙂 Ok maybe I’ll look up the word for flame/torch in Sanskrit so it can be my own secret.

    My last name means crooked. It might explain why I go off in tangents…

    Sorry for this nonsense. But I do feel better after having gotten this all off my chest. What a catharsis.

    I guess it is time for me to re-read your post and start making some tough decisions.

    Thank you, Unmaskd.


    • Phil says:

      I’m sure that Unmaskd will comment on this little awesome piece of honest, vulnerable magic. This was the best piece of honesty I’ve come across in a long while.
      Z, you are the shit. You’re stunningly beautiful, kind, sweet, humble, and yes I absolutely think you finally found your trilingual voice. The true one. I so hope I get to see you get everything that you truly want. You will 🙂 The questioning is not a bad thing, by the way. Would you be happy not in med school? Or is it just interfering in other life goals that you concurrently want to achieve? Because if it’s the former, I know exactly where you’re at.
      I’ll let unmaskd take it from here, and hope he/she does. Thanks so much for letting me peer into a day in your life.


    • unmaskd says:

      Zuie , I’m sure that took some guts. To quote Phil, this was the best piece of honesty I’ve come across in a long while. I’m not qualified to give you answers. Nobody is is. Only you can decide what’s right for you. That’s what being an adult is all about. But you know that. All I can say is that you’re not alone. You’re facing the choice so many have faced. Only you are in a pretty good spot to face it.

      The fact that you can afford to question your decision to become a doctor already makes you lucky. There’re millions of people who don’t have that option and would be happy to have an opportunity to go to med school — even with all the loans that come with it. You’ve seen poverty, so you know. The fact that you’re asking yourself these questions while you’re 25 and not 45 makes you luckier than millions of people who wake up one day asking themselves, where the hell did their lives go. Finally, the fact that you still see a picture where being a physician still makes you happy means that the changes you need to make can be fairly moderate.

      It’s very easy for me say all this. It’s very hard for you to make the choice and live with it. Here’s the only advice I can give, based as usual on my own experience: take your time to decide. But then follow through. Choices like this can’t be made too often. Good luck!


    • JD78 says:

      “I have always lived my life the way I thought I was “supposed to” live it.”

      You know, Zuie, I have done the EXACT opposite of this and I still wonder a lot of times “Oh, God, what the hell have I done?” meaning I was raised properly, excelled in school, always somewhat socially acceptable yet simultaneously awkward and STILL went against the grain, if you will, and often wonder (not second-guess necessarily) what would have been if I had taken the chartered course instead. Granted I think some things would have turned out better, but not all, so I choose to focus on the rewards versus the losses. All I know, for all the good and the bad, I did things the way I wanted to and I have no one to blame nor commend but myself. This is a type of peace-of-mind that can’t be taught, bought, or inherited and I am grateful for it EVERY DAY.

      I think we all struggle with this and if we don’t, well, not to sound judgemental, but I don’t think those individuals will have too many interesting stories or life lessons to tell and teach their grandchildren. I have just as many friends and acquaintances who chose career first and now at age 30+ are terrified they’ve already missed out or will miss out on the chance for marriage and children as I know who chose domestic life and now wonder if maybe they should have held off on the “Happily Ever After” scenario and concentrated on career or at least themselves for awhile.

      Basically there is no “correct” answer, just a fork in the road, and those who ventured right will always wonder where the path on the left led and vice versa. The difference lies in those who continue on their chosen path in hopes of finding a place where the two roads meet and those who stop and decide this is too hard and simply succumb to the rough terrain on their path. I’m personally on my way to the junction leading to middle ground and each day i’m closer to this “dream” and am eternally grateful for the lessons I’ve learned along the way. It has been a golden and priceless opportunity.

      Just keep moving and you will be fine. Luckily you’ve got this little “Family” to keep you company and give you a piggy-back ride when and if you get tired or worn down. The next pit stop on the road is WPB – See you soon.;)


    • xxx says:

      I could so relate to this, 10 years ago I was pondering the same questions. I pursued a different degree, where only 1 % of the students that started were able to finish 6 years later. And today, the happy ones are the ones who asked questions while they studied, not the ones who just focused on getting through…

      I chose to focus on happiness, I love love love traveling, I was “lucky” to be able to study/work on three other continents before the age of 25, while also finishing my degree on my own continent. During the last year I only chose (I don’t know if you can choose just yet?) courses I wanted, not the ones that looked the most impressive on paper. You will figure out your twist, wether it is a part- time job, study-abroad, writing etc. Stick to your own interests and you will see it through in a happy way. Oh, and no, my parents did not pay for my achievements, I worked, saved, applied for scholarships etc.

      I promise, for what it is worth 🙂 , that these questions will also help you when you start working, your awareness: of yourself, your actions and their consequences. These are the things that will be so incredible important to the people you are going to interact with, no matter which profession you choose.

      What a great lesson you already have at the age of 24, get it all out on paper, and suddenly a world of possibilities opens, not bad you know 🙂

      I sound so old when I write this, oh well…

      Whatever your path is, Good Luck!


    • Ashley says:

      Zuiee, I have a very similiar personality! I’ve always done the things I thought I was “supposed” to do or that would cause the less friction on those around me. Trying just to make everyone happy and then one day..not too long ago..I realized I’ve been leaving myself not much to work with for happiness. I used it all up on others and making them happy, pleasing them. I have 3 things in my life that cause me true happiness and they are 5, 3 and 2 yrs old. 🙂 But sometimes I wonder (ok ALOT) what will my identity be when they are grown? I can’t always be doting mother, caretaker, boo boo kisser, or even disciplinary (when needed). I won’t always be “stressed” over the kids fighting constantly or them getting ketchup on their white shirt before we walk out the door to leave. That seems so small in the bigger scheme of things..so very small indeed. Some day i’ll probably beg to hear their voices whining and complaining..because instead there will be silence. And will I have an Identity then? Well thank god for unmaskd and all of you because I now believe it may be possible! I feel alive again..happy for ME. I used to love to write, love to sing, love to laugh and talk with friends. I’m so serious when I say that for the past years, I’ve lived SOLELY for my children, very rarely leaving them and have had very little contact with friends or any adults at all during the day. And as much as I love my children more than life itself, I’ve realized this isn’t the right way. My happiness is crucial for them. Yes, they laugh and smile and see me laugh and smile and be silly for them all the time..but when they grow up, will they sense certain things missing? Probably so. They will no doubt be appreciative of my absolute focus on them but do I want them to learn to live only pleasing others? NO! I want so much for them..so so very much. I want them to be that writer, or football player, or scientist, or whatever it is they choose! I want them to not have to look back at me and worry that I will be lost without them. I can’t allow that to happen. I want them to be caring, empathetic, well rounded adults and for that to be, it starts with me. I hope I’ve got them started on the caring and empathetic part and even the silly, fun part 🙂 But at the end of they day or even at naptime..when my children are asleep..I should allow myself to become “Ashley” again and not just or only “Mommy”. You all have allowed me to do this through our conversations and friendships. It means so much! I have enjoyed having a blog to speak out on without being scrutinized and allowing myself to write again which is something that truly frees me. Someday I’ll be…free to be me 🙂 I’m on that road, and I love sharing it with all you. ❤


    • psychicsarah says:

      Zuie….May I be so bold as to relay what I am picking up for you>?

      I’m from a medical family (Father, DR and Counsellor and Writer; Brother a DR and Mum was a Nurse)…so understand alot of your dilemmas re training medically! It sure is a sweat!

      My father’s *dream* changed at age 17 when he developed Diabetes….he was all set to be a land surveyor and qualified re A levels etc to do this. Whilst in hospital he felt God was calling him into the medical profession…he hd to consequently do another 4 A levels to achieve this. Similarly my Bro…his *dream* was to follow in Dad’s footsteps (but on his own terms)…Come May he found he had been taught the wrong course re some of the sciences, so again he had to do A’ levels all over again which took alot of courage and tenacity)

      I am sharing this cos I know very special people are called into the medical profession…I still pick up that this is your calling to. What I would feel is that you are very miffed and unsettled by the relationship matter. I may be wrong; but I would pick up that this is at the root of your frustration.

      Can I assure you that things are going to work out for you? I really feel you would do well to get your head down and complete your medical studies; not least beacuse very soon you will meet the guy who is going to displace all those difficult feelings you harbour towards your ex.

      I hope you don’t mind these predictions; but I can relate to your post which talks of *mistakes* bad decisions and mis timings…Remember though; really there are no mistakes.

      Recall why the relationship ended. I do not feel you did make a mistake actually. In many ways you were both set for a different path and *Destiny* had other ideas…

      Don’t worry….you are also coming up to your Saturn Return
      (ages 28 through 29) …. this will be when you finally pin down your structure and commitments for your adult years…and the good decisions you make now will help you through. You will also be in the right relationship well by that point…so that will be another thing to commit to with full enthusiasm…

      This time coming up is significant…today is an important Eclipse in Cancer…and there are hugely important astrological shifts coming by the end of the month which will benefit all of us (in the pursuit of our *Dreams* and daily lives)

      The shift of Virgo back into Libra by the end of the month is very important and things will become less fraught and much more settled…

      Zuie…don’t worry the *ants in your pants* will dissipate and you will soon feel back on track…

      Bestest wishes

      Sarah XXX


    • river says:

      Wow, Zuie, I know what you mean. I had similar thoughts for a long time. Always doing what I thought was the right thing. I would pat myself on the back for being a “good girl” who took care of things, never ignored my responsibilities, blah, blah, blah. What I found out is that I was so full of shit…I did these things out of pride. Look at me, aren’t I the most wonderful person. I was so thirsty for approval from others that I could not identify my own desire(s) or dreams from those people expected of me. Looking back, the only things I did, that was real to me, that I WANTED to do was to be a mom to Ernie and be a teacher. Even my genuine interest in medicine, to some degree, was not mine. Throughout my career in medicine I was always anxious, always feeling unsuccessful, always feeling unsatisfied, always feeling like there was something just out of my reach that would make my life perfect or real. I was jealous of colleagues who were more successful than I, yet I pushed myself to the pinnacle of what my education allowed me to do. Why…because I wanted people to be impressed by me, to think well of me…again why…because I was not impressed by myself and did not think well of myself. Crap, I feel like I should be on a sofa and someone should be taking notes.

      Total tangent: this is what I love about Twitter, Blogs, and the like…the anonymity that allows complete honesty.

      I don’t know if it is nuts to think this, but I think struggling, questioning is what makes people grow–for me the trick is to be honest with myself–not an easy task.


  32. Jenn says:

    It’s interesting. I think most people are really happy to settle for less than they deserve. That’s why so many folks are in jobs they hate, in towns they hate, in lives they hate. The great majority of the rest of us are obsessed with making our lives what we want them to be. It takes a great deal of sacrifice to put in the time and effort to achieve your goals – but it’s totally worth it.

    I figure on the “balance” part after I’ve gotten where I need to be. But then again… it’s a non-stop journey of learning. After all, the best can always get better.

    I guess those sacrifices will be never ending. Or at the least, always changing, but always there.



  33. mike says:

    depending on your self awareness, the one minute dream test could ruin you as an employee…..in a good way though!



  34. Angela Miller says:

    Your advice is always good. The best advice is simple advice, but simple doesn’t necessarily equate to easy.

    Personally, I don’t know what dream is. Really I don’t. A lot of people tell me, “You’re smart, you’re responsible, you know what you want in life and I respect that.” But what I always try to explain is that I don’t. I mean yea I have a general idea. I want to make a difference, I want to promote change and bring about awareness in people. I want people to return to a time where the most important thing was humanity in general as well as our personal humanity. I want to help people see that your life is what you make it, even when you’ve been dealt a shitty hand where it seems like there’s no way out, no way up, no way forward you can milk it, you can twist it, you can make it amazing.

    So I’ve resolved to become a high school counselor, I’m still not sure if that’s “The Dream.” I mean it certainly feels right but something I’ve never been stellar at is predicting the trajectory of my future (ironic that that’s my career path then eh?). I’m too of the moment, both a blessing and a curse. Again I can see a general path, a general idea but “The” path is hard to nail down. I’m a strong believer in carpe diem, I believe any moment is your moment. Every second you are born into something new, intrinsically the same creature but still you are not who you were 1 second ago because whatever just happened has already left it’s mark, branding you into someone new. Minutely maybe, unknowable to you but it’s happened. As you say, it’s about the journey, and right now I’m just busy enjoying it. I feel the signs will come, the trouble is you just have to make sure you can read them and act upon them when the timing is right.


  35. Sanjanette says:

    Zuie, I am so proud of you for writing that. The fact that you are questioning what you are doing with your life means you have not fallen into mediocrity, or far worse, living death. In any decision, follow your heart tempered with intelligence. I am so glad I am getting to know you better each day, and I get to watch the changes as you grow. You are a remarkable person (obvi), and I have faith in you and that everything will work out the way it should. Even if your last name means crooked.


  36. quietsquard says:

    What if your dream is another person? And just being, giving love to other people?


  37. mike says:

    YES!!! So my last comment raised a question!! How do you handle being broke and still pursuing your dream? HERES THE THING THOUGH…..money of course is not an object to me,but if my dream had a subtitle it would read “expect to eat lots of PB and J”.

    Again, money is not an object but i don’t want to live in my car. Jewel is an amazing person though.


    • unmaskd says:

      Mike, I don’t know you situation. But if you’re broke while young, generally healthy, with no mortgages to pay and no mouths to feed besides yours, you’re lucky. I mean it and I know what I’m talking about. In a situation like this people have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You’re free to experiment, to try a new thing every day and don’t need to worry about your family starving because of your experiments.

      Now if you’ve got people who depend on your income, that’s a another story.


  38. zuie says:

    thank you all so much for your kindness and for sharing your perspectives with me. i have a lot to think about now and will take into consideration what each of you suggested. i hope i responded to everyone in some medium (twitter, gmail, phone…). best of luck to everyone in the pursuit of his/her own dreams 🙂 🙂 xoxo


  39. Sunshine says:

    What an amazing group of people here openly sharing their thoughts and dreams, feeding off each other and encouraging one another–what a community! I’ll come back and comment later…it’s going on 3 am and I’ve got to get up in 2 hours but that is the price for having alone time when you need it!

    By the way, I get the feeling Unmaskd also posts as Phil…sorry if I’m mistaken but there’s just something about the posts that makes me wonder if a 2nd personality was thrown in there for fun and the name Phil comes from “Dr. Phil”…is either statement correct? I don’t want to ruin it for anyone else, but I would love to know if I am accurate in my insight on this. Of the two, the more important question to answer is if Phil is also Unmaskd?


    • xxx says:

      No worries on who is who, Dr. Phil is great by the way.

      I’m off on vacation, it’s been a great 3 months here though 🙂 If you want to keep your light shining on the blog feel free to replace me. If not, walk in peace.

      Thanks everyone.

      Peace Love Respect



    • xxx says:

      I replied to @Sunshine , guess I am on vacation already!


    • Ashley says:

      Well, I can tell you with near absolute certainty that Phil is NOT unmaskd. Phil is a friends of mine and although I’ve never met her..I speak to her often and she is not unmaskd. I’m sure she will be flattered though 😉 But on the other hand, who knows if unmaskd posts under another name among us…he’s sneaky sometimes 😉 Then again, why would he need an anon name for his anon name?! Hmm..LOL!


    • Phil says:

      Hey @Sunshine,
      I enjoyed reading this comment and others that you have written. I’m not Dr. Phil, but I work in a similar field (sans talk show).

      I’m not @unmaskd, but I’m sure he/she will be flattered to know that you thought that 😉 So I was supposed to be the fun personality, right?

      My name was given to me by one @zuie and has since stood the test of time.

      –Phil xo


      • JD_278 says:

        The fun personality with big hair, right?

        You forgot about the big 80’s hair and pink frosted lipstick. Those are two of the most awesome components of your fun personality, my favorite Bostonian. 😉


  40. psychicsarah says:

    A vision without action is an illusion. An action without vision is confusion!” ~ Willie Jollie


  41. psychicsarah says:

    Go ask Alice…

    One pill makes you larger (red): one pill makes you small (blue)


  42. Ashley says:

    So eery I stumbled back upon this almost exactly 1 year after it was written. All the Neo and red/blue pills made me think of it.
    Well, here I am 366 days after this post, and you were right. 🙂 THE Dream.


  43. Diane says:

    Cabrillo Marine Museum?! Shut yo mouth girl. Was Mr. Olguin still around? I’m sure you must have done a few grunion runs in your day and, of course, learned the lil’ grunion dance. What a small world. I LOVE San Pedro…AND what an amazing story you had. Ernie is one very fortunate young man…and I bet you students are too. : )

    Thank you ALL so much for your shares. Your heartfelt honesty means a lot to me… and thank YOU, unmaskd, for allowing this forum for discussion. I find you both entertaining and wise. : )

    I’d like to share with you a site which had a description of a way to help clarify those things which are most important to you. I’m not really good at this whole internet thing, but if any of you are interested, type in the words, “Psychic Advice: How to Live a Fulfilling Life” on your search engine and you will find the article. The whole post was good (IMO), but I was particularly intrigued by the exercise in the second to last paragraph.


  44. Diane says:

    Oh my goodness, i doubt River will ever see this. She wrote her post a year ago. How embarrassing. Ah, well. : /


  45. Anonymous says:

    I just re-read this, eventhough I had read it before when you posted it and absolutely loved it then and read it a few times because the points you are making are SO TRUE and I apply them in my life because they work! Thank you.



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