[tweetmeme source= “unmaskd” only_single=false]Wouldn’t it be cool if lost & found service worked not only for umbrellas and shirts? Sometimes we lose things that are way more important…
– …It seems that I have lost my confidence.
– Let me see sir. We have a special bin for those. Anything distinctive about yours?
– Don’t know. I’m not sure. Not sure about anything actually… It’s nothing special. Just your average everyday confidence.
– Slightly used, but in good condition? This one?
– Here you go, sir.
– I think I lost my conscience. Can’t find it anywhere.
– Sorry, sir, but allow me to disagree.
– How come?
– If you’re looking for your conscience, you haven’t really lost it.
– Hey! I lost my patience! I mean I REALLY need it! As in NOW! RIGHT NOW!
– No worries, sir, here it is. Please… allow me… Ouch!
– Thank you. You’ve been so helpful. Why are you so pale?
– It’s ok sir… It’s ok… The important thing is you have your patience back.
– You know… last night… I’m not sure how to say it… I lost my… Well… my… my virginity. I mean I think I lost it… Do you have it by any chance?…
– Sorry, mam. Never seen one of these turned in. But it’s ok. You’ll get used to it.
– My mind! It’s lost! I lost it! I’m doomed! I’m doomed!!
– Let me check, sir. We had several turned in last night. It’s the season, you know. Overall in a decent shape, higher than average IQ, with a tendency to be pessimistic?
– Yes! Yes! Yes!
– I lost sleep…
– Could it be this one, mam?
– Oh, thank you!
– My pleasure. It looks like it’s wrapped up in some groundless doubts, so let me unwrap it for you.
– Yo, dude! I lost my cool. It’s gone. Just gone. Can you help me, bro?
– Certainly, Mr. Dude. Certainly. Here it is. We knew you’d stop by.
– I lost my appetite. Has anyone–
– Please take it! it’s been smelling like pizza for two days here.
– I lost my soul.
– Unfortunately, sir, no one brings here items that were sold to them voluntarily.
– I lost my youth. Been searching for it for a while. Can you check if–
– I’m sorry, sir. I’m certain we don’t have it. People never turn these in. Finders – keepers.
– Last month I lost my heart.
– You should be more careful wearing it on your sleeve. But let me check…
– I lost hope.
– No you didn’t, sir.
– Huh? I’m telling you I lost hope. Isn’t it your job to help me find it?
– No sir. No one can help you find hope.
– Because it’s impossible to lose it. You live – you hope.