The Eyes of a Beggar

Posted: March 26, 2012 in Unmaskd Tales

The Eyes of a Beggar

“My life is dull,” said glorious Emperor Moktut.
He had just finished listening to his Royal Advisor’s briefing and sat staring straight ahead, as if not seeing his palace, which had been said to be the most luxurious palace ever built on earth.
“Bring me a mirror,” he ordered.
The Royal Advisor rushed to fetch a mirror. He could have and even should have sent one of the servants to bring it, but he was glad to get away from the Emperor even for a few minutes. He had always known how to deal with the Emperor’s fury. But he was terrified by these new moments of unexplainable misery. The Emperor was not supposed to feel miserable. If he — the most powerful man in the world — felt this way, how common men were supposed to feel? Emperor Moktut had never shown any signs of misery — until two moons ago when he spoke to that horrible arrogant man by the name of Puram Bam.
“I am the most powerful man in the world,” said Moktut, studying his own reflection. “I should be happy. I should be far more than happy. So what is it that makes me feel so–”
He broke off.
“I need to talk to him,” he said, turning to the Royal Advisor. “Go and invite him at once.”
“Me?” asked the Royal Advisor in astonishment. He had never seen such a violation of the royal etiquette. His shock was so strong that he even dared to ask, “Your Majesty, do you mean that I should send the Guards to bring that man here?”
“Yes,” said the Emperor. “If you want to spend the rest of your life in the dungeon. But if you intend to keep your job, go tell him that I’m inviting him to live here as my guest.”
The Royal Advisor and left, his knees shaking.
“He said what?” asked Moktut three days later. “Are you sure?”
The Royal Adviser nodded, not daring to to look at the Emperor.
“Yes, your Majesty,” he muttered. “He said that he would’ve gladly accepted your invitation, but he would not do well in a company of beggars.
“Beggars?” repeated Moktut, his voice puzzled. “Go tell him that in this palace he will live among the richest men of my empire. Men who can buy anything and anyone. Men who eat from golden plates and travel in palanquins decorated with diamonds.”
This time the Royal Advisor left without asking questions.
Three days later he was back, trembling.
“He said, your Majesty,” he reported, his voice full of horror, “that these are exactly the men he means.”
Moktut sat still for a long time.
“Tell him,” he said finally, “that he should not be concerned about spending his days among those who are only attracted to material goods and are poor like beggars when it comes to matters of spirit. Tell him that in this palace he will find poets who care only about sharing their poetry, preachers who possess little more than their robes and who only want to preach, and painters who create their paintings asking for no reward. Go now.”
The Royal Advisor left, silently cursing Puram Bam and shuddering at the thought that he was about to curse the Emperor.
Another three days passed. The Royal Advisor was back. Alone.
The Emperor’s silence was more menacing than his wrath could have been.
“He said,” the Royal Advisor conveyed, wondering how in the world he ended up in a position of a message boy, “that these poets, preachers and painters are also the people he was referring to. He also wanted wanted to remind you that a beggar is someone who throws himself at the mercy of others and pleads for something they have while offering nothing in return.”
“The hell with him!” replied Monkut, gravely. “He has pushed my good will too far.”
The Royal Advisor felt relieved. The Emperor was coming to his senses, at last.
“It is almost time for the Summer Royal Celebration,” he dared to remind the Emperor. “I’ll see to it that we have the most majestic celebration in years. This celebration will make the people of this empire feel proud, while making other nations envy your splendor. The attention of the entire world–”
The Emperor’s palm flew up, making the Royal Advisor stop in the middle of a sentence.
“Attention,” whispered Moktut.
“Yes,” happily went on the Royal Advisor, “attention of the entire world! We will–”
But another irritated gesture of the Emperor made him stop again.
Moktut’s eyes were looking far beyond the vast hall. He didn’t see the flabbergasted face of his Royal Advisor. He didn’t see scared faces of his courtiers. He didn’t see indifferent faces of his servants. He saw something else.
He saw the richest men of his country spending millions on luxury they neither needed nor appreciated. These millions were spent with the only goal — to impress others, rich and poor, men and women, old and young. To make them gasp in envy. He saw poorest men of his empire doing the same — depriving themselves of something they needed so they could buy something to boast about in front of their neighbours. He saw poets frantically writing their poems, hoping that one day everyone will know their name — the name, not their works. He saw himself, sitting on his throne, bored by people’s admiration — and still wanting it with all his heart. He saw people going around asking, pleading, begging for attention — and accepting it as alms, not caring if they had any value to offer in exchange. He saw beggars begging beggars — and making that begging the ultimate motive of their life.
“Should I get the preparations started?” asked the Royal Advisor. The Emperor nodded, indifferently.
“Go,” he said. “Make them gasp. Oh, and take that mirror away. You’ll bring it back one day.”
“On the day,” he finished in his head, “when it won’t show me the eyes of a beggar.”
  1. Lisa says:

    Mirrors are interesting things. Can we know ourselves if we are always looking in the mirror? My friend has a young child in a Waldorf school K-8 Waldorf schools have no mirrors. My friend has only one mirror in her home. It is in the bathroom, but it is covered. She only uncovers it for her own grooming. Waldorf wants the child to discover a sense of self independent of the mirror. Supposedly, as the children get older, mirrors are uncovered in the home. I know this sounds strange to some, but ‘m all for it.


  2. Lisa says:

    Just reflecting on the comment above. It sounds as if Waldorf want the children to develop a sense of who they are from the inside out as opposed to the outside in. Works for me.


  3. […] The Eyes Of A Begger [An Unmasked Tale] Posted on maart 26, 2012 by Didier Leclaire Via Unmasked – […]


  4. dancergypsy says:

    I like this story very much! 🙂


  5. Mary says:

    No one loves the emperor, They only love his power. He loves his power but he doesn’t love himself. Puram Bam seems like a simpleton but the emperor needed his companionship but Puram Bam refused to be so kind and it seems they would make good friends as they both seem to be “poor” in certain spiritual ways. If Puram Bam didn’t find it to be his “calling” to repeatedly break people’s spirits down without really offering a constructive introspective lesson for them to ruminate on and thus properly re-build it, the people that he crosses paths with would leave him more enlightened and he would rightfully deserve the title of a “guru.” They are both missing love in their life, clearly.

    This thematic story is one confusing loop of let-downs but your stories are like mathematical emotional word problems, and that is interesting if someone makes sense of them afterward. If not and even sometimes if, there seems to be a side-effect of dizziness that stays behind for a while.

    Mirrors are somewhat important for proper grooming but even those, after really getting to know yourself and your body, aren’t even necessary the more naturally you choose to live and the more you build indifference or rather invincibility to how others react to and/or attack your physical appearwnce/emotional self. If you’re raised with love and confidence-instilling values and especially trust, none of it should really affect you. If you have at least one person in your life who will constantly love you without comparing you to others, it’s a good foundation.

    Society is a compilatory mosaic of all channels of expression which forces its reflection upon those who aren’t protected by a good filter, which in some ways is the good foundation aforementioned. On this note, essentially, are there better mirrors to depict us than our own attitudes towards others and our own selves?


  6. Lisa says:

    Oh unmasked, this is a very good story. Honestly, it is my favorite of your Puram Bam series so far. I should never have jumped into that whole Waldorf thing. Where was my head? Well done. I really like this. I think it’s your best Puram Bam story yet. BTW, it sounds as if the emperor is begging for love, attention and fulfillment, yet the trick is this is something we we can only give ourselves.


    • Mary says:

      Love, attention and fullfillment is not something only we can give ourselves. When you were a yound child, did you not need people to love you to help you attain those things? We are always a child at heart and even when we age into elderly folk, those needs never change. People, animals, plants…need to be loved and be loved. Anyone who says they’ve achieved “success” or fullfillment alone, is not being honest with themselves.


      • Ashley says:

        Mary, *standing ovation*. I am in absolute agreement with this comment. Very well said. 🙂
        But, I think I also see what some of the others may have been saying. All the outer outpouring and gifts of love/support  in the world (be it from only 1 person, or several), cannot make a person do something. That’s a choice only yourself can make. Look at addicts, for example. There’s a reason why so many of them end up back to square one and then rehab several times. They haven’t fully committed it to themselves to stop/change. They can have all the support, love, and the most credited professionals on their side, but until they flip that switch–it doesn’t matter (though I do believe it’s easier and more likely to be successful with a love/support system of some sort). So, I think that’s why it was being said that it can really only come from within. 


  7. 3lln says:

    It’s beautifully written, and the portray of layers of masks on the Emperor (riches, fame, etc) being stripped from him is vividly expressed. A true lesson to learn.


  8. Ashley says:

    Just pointing out something I haven’t seen pointed out that I thought was clever and important. 
    Each time the Emperor sends for Puram Bam, he changes his reply back depending on whatever Puram says he does not want (why he will not come stay). When the Emperor believes Puram means actual beggars, he says “Oh but everyone is so rich and wealthy here! Only the finest, etc” (paraphrase 😉 ). But when he thinks he means spiritually poor it becomes “Oh no! There are preachers who only want to preach and have only their robes. And poets, and artists etc.” So on, and so forth. He is saying what he think Puram wants to hear, whatever it takes, to get him to come stay at the palace. Finally, when he realizes Puram isn’t going to conform, he gets angry and seems to write him off. He’s probably not real used to not getting his way, and he doesn’t know what to think of that. He also doesn’t know what to think about someone who stands their ground–no matter what.
    However, something happens. He begins to realize that Puram’s meaning of beggars (which I loved very much, great wording..)–they’re all around him. Of course at the end, there’s the somber moment when he thinks of himself as a beggar, too. But, it’s not only because he thinks he uses his great material wealth to impress others. It’s also because he feels a bit lost. He was trying any way he could to get Puram there to tell him why he felt so lonely/miserable when the only person who can truly answer that is himself. Others can offer guidance/suggestions/support–but they can’t realize and do the work for him. For any of us. I was personally saddened at the end. It seems somewhat hopeful, but somewhat questionable. For one thing, I think perhaps the Emperor was really too harsh with himself (saying he doesn’t deserve any of it, etc.). And also, he says “one day”, but goes on with the grand party to impress and wow the world. It might make you think “Why not today?”. But, that’s just it. Only he can answer that. Only he can choose how, and when. And realization is the 1st step.
    Very good story, Unmaskd. I look forward to the next one, and it being hopeful. Hehe 🙂 


    • Sali says:

      >>He is saying what he think Puram wants to hear, whatever it takes, to get him to come stay at the palace. Finally, when he realizes Puram isn’t going to conform, he gets angry and seems to write him off.
      **Great insight**

      >>And also, he says “one day”, but goes on with the grand party to impress and wow the world. It might make you think “Why not today?”
      **My thoughts too**


  9. Ashley says:

    One last thought: maybe he doesn’t have quite as much “work” to do as he thinks.
    You know that expression, “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”? That’s because many people tend to be much more scrutinizing and judgmemental of themselves, than they are of others. They’re very hard on themselves, and set unrealistically high standards.
    There is undoubtedly something in each in every one of us that we hate, that someone else will admire. Maybe it’s even something unlike our own personality that would nicely compliment. Or maybe it’s something we don’t have that we just aspire to have. Regardless, I don’t think any good-hearted, and well-meaning person should feel invalidated or less than this or that. 🙂


  10. Arete says:

    Still ruminating on “the begger.” Perhaps this person is one who has not come to terms with understanding the Truth Of Duality for without weakness we would not know our strength. Everyday presents us an opportunity to weigh in but do any of you find that by cutting off one outlet for our so called weakness, it somehow finds a way to manifest itself through another channel or maybe worse a chronic illness? Mary might be exactly right about a foundation. Of course there are anomalies but most people who exhibit weakness in one way or another are likely lacking a strong foundation of emotional resilience. Psych 101. We must then choose our manifestations wisely to become beings of pure light.


  11. Sunshine says:

    This is one of your best tales, even though they are all excellent. While I have a long, detailed response in my head (which I enjoy writing as much as I enjoy reading these tales), I’m not going to write it here at this time, because there is a response that says more than I could ever say (it comes from the tapes I mentioned in “Two Souls”). Here it is: “People will work harder for psychic satisfaction than they will for monetary gain. It is believed that 90% of the things people do are prompted by a desire to feel important. People never grow out of a need for praise and appreciation…(one of the deepest drives of human nature).”

    I wonder what would happen if people went around only saying positive things to others, helping them feel good about who they are and what they have to offer, truly appreciating each individual’s individualness…now that’s a nice place to be. According to the tapes, if you’re not sure how to decipher positive from negative thoughts/words, it is simple: Negative thoughts stem from some form of fear, doubt or hate. Positive thoughts stem from faith, hope or love. (This ties in well with other pieces you have written).

    I guess being a beggar is human nature then…some beggars are more assertive and needy than others, but it all depends on how many negative thoughts and words are thrown to the beggar and how many positive, nourishing thoughts and words fill him up. We all just want to be worthwhile not for others–for ourselves to feel we matter–for psychic satisfaction, but we need others to help fill our psyche. Perhaps Puram Bam is a beggar too in his own way, but not all that needy a beggar, so he has more positivity to share to nourish others than he has a need to be filled by others or it is in helping others that he gets his psychic satisfaction and it is self sustaining. I believe we all have something to offer so in that way we are not beggars by nature…it only takes unwrapping the gift inside ourselves to give this world who we are.

    As far as a name, (according to the tapes) a person’s name is the sweetest sound to their ears. I think maybe because hearing it, one is acknowledged and one feels important every time one hears one’s name.

    Emperor Moktut just has a big need, but once filled inwardly and outwardly with sincerity, his ability and desire to give will be just as big and it will be for the sheer joy of giving to others, for others. When we give for ourselves for personal gain in some way, whether for desired psychic satisfaction or attention, it is not satisfying at all, but when we give for others to others with a pure heart and good intention, that is truly fulfilling. A person cannot give what a person does not have.


  12. dancergypsy says:

    Hmmm, I think for myself I yearn to be proud of myself. However, it always nice when other people appreciate my hard efforts. I don’t look for approval so much as I do acceptance. It sounds as though it’s the same thing but really it’s a shade different. For instance, in relationships, my sister may not like what I wear but she accepts me for my own tastes. This could be a kind of appreciation, indeed. Ultimately it boils down to Love and interpretations of that are diverse. I’m going through a process of learning this very thing. What I do to show Love could be entirely different from another. I’ve learned to love myself yet I seek to be loved by others. I think it is a natural healthy desire as long as one is not too desperate making detrimental sacrifices during the search.

    On a side note, I have been studying the psychology of mental/emotional struggles and found that specifically people with hard backgrounds are in “need” of more encouragement than individuals with privileged backgrounds. It’s much like someone with a sickness. You can’t expect a person with a cold to feel well until they heal. Much of the world needs healing and we live among many troubled people. I agree with you, offering kindness is best. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” There is a fine line for that, however, in determining the correct method. Otherwise, some people will refrain from personal-growth and self-love always requiring reassurance from someone other than themselves.

    The power in words comes with the faith we have in them. If someone were to tell me I’m an idiot and I didn’t value the person’s opinion it wouldn’t carry anything for me. On the other hand, if someone I highly valued told me the same thing it could have a totally different result on me. I think the listener is the person who gives power to words. It’s when we believe them they become our personal truth. That’s why it’s so important to be careful about what one chooses to believe.

    I can’t say I relate to the specific joy in hearing my name, as you mentioned it being the “sweetest sound”. I don’t find names to be truly significant. I have more than one, maybe that is why. 😉 For me, what gives me the most joy and touches me more than anything else is three simple words: I love you. The only time those words really touch me is if I believe the person saying it is sincere and the meaning of those words carry the same importance. And yes, I tell myself “I love you” often. 🙂

    I much enjoyed your comment, Sunshine.


  13. Sunshine says:

    I recently watched a video by John Robbins on the 2013 Longevity Now Conference and thought of this tale. John Robbins was the heir to Baskin Robbins in which he walked away to live his own authentic life, telling his father he didn’t even want a trust fund and made the life he was meant to live on his own. I transcribed his words toward the end of his speech to share here–this is what he had to say:

    “The questions we live with are more important than the answers we think we have–they change. Questions deepen us. Answers sometimes make us smug or complacent or rigid. So in the adventure, in the inquiry, where your sense of joy is expanded in life–that’s where I want to meet you right now and I want to conclude by telling you another little story. It’s about a man, or a woman, and this person goes to Heaven or they meet the gate keepers of Heaven and perhaps it’s God himself where the Lord says come, I will show you the answers to your questions. First, I will show you Hell. And the person is taken to a room and what’s in the room is a bunch of people sitting around a big pot of stew and they all have spoons with very long handles and the handles are long enough that they can reach the stew, but they’re too long to feed themselves. And the suffering is terrible, people are just in agony and they’re writhing around and they’re screaming and they’re tortured and they’re hungry and they’re starving in the midst of this great pot of stew. And then The Lord says, come now and I will show you Heaven and they go to another room and it looks just like the first room in that there’s a big pot of stew, there’s people sitting around and they’ve got the same long handled spoons. But here, everybody’s happy and were fed and laughing and loving and the person says, I don’t get it, it looks the same except there it was all misery and here it’s all joy. What’s the difference? And God says, don’t you see, here they learned to feed each other. (John Robbins goes on to say) I think we’re here to learn to feed each other. To feed each other nutritious food, to feed each other nutritious thoughts, to feed each other affirmations and validation and support for our growth and our understanding and our development and our evolution as human beings. To feed each other with love and the nutrient vitamin L and the belief in ourselves. There are so many kinds of suffering in this world, there are so many ways that people can feel broken, can feel wounded onto death, can feel such despair. And each time any of us reaches out and includes and embraces the suffering that we’re experiencing or another person is experiencing and welcomes that person to life, welcomes ourselves to life, then we are fed, we are all fed, we are part of each other. The lie is that we are not. We’re part of each other’s dreams more than we know, we’re part of each other’s needs more than we know, we’re part of each other’s hungers, we’re part of each other’s gifts. We’re here to learn to feed each other. And I want to thank you for every step you’ve ever taken in that direction. I want to thank you every step you’ve ever taken into an authentic life, a genuine life in which your gifts are here to be given, in which your intelligences and your wisdom and your powers are here to be shared. Thank you very much.” (clapping and standing ovation)

    Are we all beggars or are we meant to nourish each other with our gifts?

    I sure miss digesting your posted thoughts Unmaskd. These nourishing posts stay with me and satiate my hunger as I enjoy sharing too. Anyone hungry? Let’s stir up this pot of stew in this virtual melting pot of ideas, creativity, openness and sharing. I really like the stew here. I have looked for stew in other places and have been nourished, but this is where the stew is homemade and authentic around the campfire.


  14. dancergypsy says:

    Sunshine, I spent the last few hours considering what you have shared. I was compelled to write a story and this is what I wrote:

    In a time before an era where time is recognized as now, there remained one. This one was the last of her kind. Before there were no more there lived a people who were capable. In other words, they were Savages. In the beginning they were of greatness and victory. Neshkna, meaning leader, learned the secrets of her grandmother and great aunt. The secrets of vibrant living.
    Unfortunately, that existence changed leaving Neshkna as the only one to escape the terrors of death. Another people flourished on the bones of her memories like vultures in a desert. It became necessary that she leave and journey towards new land. At night, in the wind, she heard a cry. It sounded lonely and familiar. When she gazed to the horizon at dawn it always seemed to her the cry was coming from a particular mountain.

    The mountain in the distance was majestic. Its majestic aura was a result of its treacherousness. It was just as her, a Savage. It came to be that Neshkna sought to become a part of that mountain. She set out to reach its heights, to know its wonders, to know its way and sooth its cry. In the steps beyond her she met no stranger or kindness for many passings. Seasons were beautiful and harsh. They tormented her with passions and drought, dirt and sores. Beneath her torn garment, hidden, were the secrets of vibrant living and she remembered them even when she almost forgot. With those sacred remnants she walked upward. The only one of her kind.

    Neshkna lost track of unimportant things. She never knew she left behind needing anything, family, friends, support, embellished behaviors, appearances, or even smiles. It came to her that only humans bear their teeth at one another in show of favor. She would only show her teeth to growl.
    It continued- the same cry that whispered tangled in the dawn wind. Over time she became weary in her journey, wondering if she would ever reach the top. Hunger clawed at her ribs. It had been too long since she had eaten. After looking around the grounds she discovered a pathway marked by deer. She climbed into a tree and waited patiently until a doe quietly crept below nibbling a few twigs here and there. Neshkna held her dagger with the blade along her forearm and in one graceful pounce dropped down onto its back stabbing the deer swiftly in the base of the skull. She jerked the blade free and slit its throat without second thought. In a sigh of honor she placed her hand on the doe’s side recognizing its life as she lay it to its side. She proceeded to gut the deer, reached inside pulling out a warm heart while blood dripped down her arm to her elbow. She licked the blood with her tongue, said a secret, and bit into the deer’s heart.

    Nothing went to waste. Neshkna was sustained and moved forward. It was also during that time she discovered there was a mountain lion in her region. She told the mountain lion she trusted him, but really she never truly did. However, there was a respect between them. The mountain lion respected her and she respected the mountain lion. This was made known when she left a gift of deer she could not pack with her.

    Finally, when she began to feel she could handle the journey no more, she started to talk to the cry in wind and the mountain lion. To anyone else, they would have believed she was talking to herself. She encouraged the crying wind and sang songs to it. She could no longer see the horizon. She no longer knew how far she had come or how much more she must go. Then unexpectedly, the trees began to thin, she saw a space of sky stretching to infinity. Seeing this, she understood, she was at the top of the majestic mountain. There was a silence unbelievably calm. To her surprise, as she walked to the East edge of the mountain a figure began to appear. There stood before her another of her kind, set out to reach its heights, to know its wonders, to know its way and sooth its cry. They did not bear their teeth to smile, for such would lack respect. As the sky above and beyond them knew their living, so did the light that possessed them. They simply bowed their heads forward in a sense of understanding. It was from their own capability they were able to have honor for the other’s presence, without any need. They had tasted life on their own, achieved their goal, all the while singing to the other’s cry, bearing the secrets of vibrant living. There was no need to ask either; they both were there from their own will.

    Indeed, their arrival was heaven and glorious. They were not beggars. They were Savages.
    Legend has it that they live on the top of that mountain, not together but as individuals, in divine peace. It’s said the only ones to accompany them are the ones who are capable and strong. They are the ones who eat from their own hunts of raw meat, never regurgitated meals.


    • Sunshine says:

      Wow! At first I was speechless and felt as if what I shared was just regurgitated words of another. There are so many different ways to interpret your story. Thank you for sharing your gift here…your words combined into a beautiful, raw, savage visceral venison to consider. Your words offer one to see a few different perspectives and a few different angles to read it from.

      Words are a gift to humans. I like words (and showing my teeth for smiling) because they bring me joy. Words are a very vital form of expression and connection, yet I do see what you’re saying (as much as my own perception allows me to understand). Remember what DM Ruiz states about each of us being the main character in our story? So I think of it in how it relates to me when I read it and how it fits into my journey/thoughts/beliefs. Whether it is to hear words in silence while reading or lyrics sung or in conversation, I love words expressed as much as I love silencing my mind and quieting my surroundings. I think that words, however they arrive, are regurgitated with our own meaning for our own purpose or for the purpose to offer to others…we all regurgitate to one degree or another and sometimes it is a full blown verbatim regurgitation to share. Yet, words can be so empty when under the microscope of judgement either internally or externally and then they seem so pointless without purpose when not used for good. Sometimes I wonder why we judge people, critique, categorize, label and define. It must be how our brains are wired, because we all do it, even if only in our mind without verbalizing or writing it. Nevertheless, I think words are important and nourishing, but proven not necessary as in the case of someone who is deaf since a deaf person from birth does not even hear words in their head, just silence, but the need to communicate and connect is what remains.

      Are you saying it is important to be original, living in one’s uniqueness and purpose and not being concerned with another’s needs, but our own first yet giving respect? In being a mom, I can’t do that because my job while my children are young is to teach them and raise them in such a way that they will grow into who they are to become. When you’re a mom, you often must put the needs of your children before your own. In choosing to be in relation with others by choice and naturalness is good because one wants to be. I understand your strong sense of solidity in not needing or wanting from others–to just be, to be you in your strength and to share with a few others who are like-minded. For me though, in my life, an integrated combination of the two stories is where I find myself as I climb to the top of the mountain in my journey. I run from being devoured instead of devouring. I hate conflict but love contrast to discover the similarities of a common ground. Thanks for sharing 🙂


  15. dancergypsy says:

    Greetings Sunshine.

    Words are many things to me, but often quite limited. I’d say I love language. Language is global, not limited to words. I like to think I exercise a personal language. There are moments I am understood. There are also moments I am not.

    To answer your question: >>Are you saying it is important to be original, living in one’s uniqueness and purpose and not being concerned with another’s needs, but our own first yet giving respect?

    No, I didn’t say that. However, there is a message related to your interpretation but not entirely on the dot. I’m skeptical of the word used “concerned” in your question. I do believe every person should meet their needs first, always. In fact, I’m of the belief we already do that by loving life. You don’t wait to fulfill your personal needs necessary for living, to breath, until everyone else has taken their first breath for the day. Most likely you do what you do, the way you do it, because it makes your heart and mind at ease. To not be concerned with another’s needs can be demonstrated on so many levels. There is really little human’s *need* to live a quality life, but there is plenty we think we want. I’d say I care a tremendous amount for the *needs* of humanity, but I do not concern myself always with what people want– at least not enough to put my own wants on hold.

    Being a mother is a choice you make. Thereby you did indeed think of your wants, even before they came into existence. Every exercised moment of patience, loving-care, etc you offer children is what they deserve. You owe that to them. Everyone owes this to children by varying degrees. By doing what is right you are respecting yourself and them. Children are already who they are meant to be, they just need time to discover it for themselves, without judgement in their own solitude– if they choose to meet themselves.

    You wish you knew where judgment came from: >>Sometimes I wonder why we judge people, critique, categorize, label and define. It must be how our brains are wired, because we all do it, even if only in our mind without verbalizing or writing it.

    Judgement comes from knowledge. We cannot know things, understand similarities and differences without knowledge. Everyone judges, true. You know this because you have knowledge it is true. You judge your own children and I understand you desire to love them by judging your words. Judging is necessary and is not always negative.

    I believe I understand what you were explaining about regurgitating verbal things. In my language I like to say not everyone regurgitates. The child in us regurgitates until we grow into our own truth. Truth never expires, so it is always organic. Even when there are moments we think someone is expressing verbatim, this may not always be true. Once in a Blue Moon, some people find truth on their own and it sounds like something said before. That is often due to a branch of Truth they have discovered on their own. Imagine you decide to hike a mountain and you discover a stream. You point it out to those you meet because it quenched your thirst. You never even realize hundreds of people before you found that exact same stream but never told a soul. You never knew they existed. That doesn’t make it regurgitated. In other cases, it is always good to give credit where credit is due. If someone told you about the stream, it’s good to say if asked, yet it is very much still a part of your organic experience. Own your experiences. Own living.

    Interestingly enough, as you shared, hearing-impaired do not hear words as we know them. They do have symbols in their mind for things, though. They think like most other humans. I wouldn’t say it is always silent in their heads. Thinking doesn’t require sound, for anyone.

    Your feedback was appreciated.


  16. dancergypsy says:

    In addition, I will respond to this:
    >>In choosing to be in relation with others by choice and naturalness is good because one wants to be. I understand your strong sense of solidity in not needing or wanting from others–to just be, to be you in your strength and to share with a few others who are like-minded.

    Whether alone or among others I believe we are all connect. Every action impacts the entire globe. We are all touched. Our touch is endless. In that way I share with the world because I am living. The more I live, the more I will touch the world. There may only be a few who notice; and they are not always like-minded. More often they are not.

    I do not need things from others now that I am not a child. I do want so many, many, things from others. The difference is, I rarely ask for what I want, if I cannot make it happen on my own. I want to be and I want others to be, in strength. We all need to be strong.


    • Sunshine says:

      I hope it is your desire to let the dance of what is within you be expressed on paper in the form of something tangible, if that is the calling you hear. You are very high up on the mountain and have something inside that many people lack/seek. Thank you for sharing your beautiful language with it’s meaningful strength.


  17. dancergypsy says:

    I most certainly enjoy writing on paper with ink, predominately. As to whether or not anyone will ever read what I write remains to be seen. Yes, I believe I have traveled far, yet I have many thousands of places to go! Some mountains are extremely high! 😉

    It is nice to be seen the way you see me, Sunshine, and for you to verbalize it for me. I may not have known otherwise. I’m grateful for the opportunity to share as I have. I’m glad you share your thoughts, too. It makes me happy to have encountered this place.


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