Goodbye — For Now

Posted: September 6, 2012 in a lonely journey

Thank you all for your words of support after my last post — they mean a lot to me. They really do.

I have failed. Which means I have either not tried hard enough or am incapable of being who I want to be. In the first case, I’ll be back. In the second case, this is the last Unmaskd post. When it comes to my identity, Unmaskd has become my most honest expression of myself. I don’t want to betray everything it means to me. Under my other masks, I have an option of living (or rather wasting) my life as someone weak, while pretending that I am strong. I don’t have this option as Unmaskd.

I know what living truly means. It is so much more than breathing and eating, doing work and being entertained. Living your life is so much more. And once you’ve lived a single moment like this you cannot go back, without lying to yourself.

As Unmaskd I’m not going to be weak. I’ll either be strong — or won’t be at all. Running away from yourself is not a way to live. It’s a way to exist. And Unmaskd is all about living.

I hope this is not a farewell. But if it is, please do know that this has been one of the most exciting adventures of my life.


  1. Dawn says:

    I hope this is not goodbye. Your presence has meant a lot to me over the last 2+ years. However if it is, I will truly miss you, the wise posts, the travel pics and the middle of the nights Twitter chats (which I have been missing for a while now anyway). Maybe you will still be around under your real identity and we can connect that way (even if I don’t know its you). I hope you are able to come to terms with your failures (perceived and otherwise) and find peace in your life. Go figure out how to be happy with yourself and get on with living the life you want. Drop in just to say hello on occasion and let us know you’re still breathing. xoxo D


  2. Emma says:

    Give yourself a break, buddy! Even if you think that you’re failing, the intent behind your actions means a freaking lot. How many people are aware of this in themselves, and continue to pretend because it’s too hard!? I wonder also if the people we think of as “great people” ever thought that they were failing. I’m sure they all did at some point! Things aren’t always black and white, you have to practice to get to a point where you achieve greatness. Just keep trying, keep practicing. Hope to hear more from you about your successes AND your failures!!!


  3. Me says:

    “Running away from yourself is not a way to live. It’s a way to exist. And Unmaskd is all about living.”
    Truly, living takes so much commitment. I want to thank you for the inspiration you have given me over the past two years. I still have your Manifesto on my kitchen cupboard. You’ve inspired me to think big and push my boundaries. All the best to you.
    PS. To me, the paradox of your comment “I failed” is half of the battle is in the honesty and you were being honest. Bless you as you journey onward. ❤ ((Hugs))


  4. Thank you, Unmaskd. It was a pleasure reading your posts. Wishing you well.


  5. Sarah H. says:

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us
    I have never responded to any of your old blogs because I’m a crappy writer as you will see, but I feel I should write something this time:

    I came across your blog almost 2 years ago, while I was myself going through a soul searching journey. Your blog-among other factors- had helped me to find some important self and life realizations, and I’ve already tried to make some positive changes based on these findings and started to taste true happiness. As expected, I have failed while trying many times, responded to external/internal temptations, and lost focus on my main goal, But I’ve noticed along the way that I have developed a tendency to rebound and get back on the right track in a short time; I know now how to be honest with myself and handle my weakness, this is an important difference between my self now and then.
    I know, I have a lot to learn as I am approaching my 30s, the journey (or sometimes the struggle) has just started, and will probably not finish as long as I am living.

    @unmaskd : “I have either not tried hard enough or am incapable of being who I want to be”

    – Maybe you have tried too hard!!
    Anyway, you’re a changed person now as you have come to figure out part of yourself through the unmasked, and I am sure that this will reflect on whatever choices you make in the future.

    Speaking of making choices, listening to this guy’s words can do your soul no harm : )

    (there’s almost a 37 years gap between the two songs O.o!!!the second one speaks volumes )

    Have a safe trip and take care of the Unmaskd! 🙂
    Goodbye for now!


    • Sunshine says:

      Good choice of songs Sarah H.

      Goodbyes always bring sadness, but the most meaningful goodbyes are like poetry or song filling the feeling of loss with lasting heartfelt beauty, strength to carry on, wisdom acquired and closure for a new beginning to emerge.


  6. Chrissie says:

    Thanks so much for your honest insights into your thoughts and feelings. It gave me hope to see, that there are people, who understand and respect humanistic thinking in our modern world.
    Your posts even inspired me to a song. Everyone is a special gift, just be who you are. Good luck & all the best to you! Bye


  7. Sunshine says:


    I have enjoyed your blog and will miss looking forward to each next post. Your posts have been creative, fun and wonderfully challenging causing me to dig deeper inside my thoughts, so I thank you for all that you shared of yourself having a positive affect in my life with your thought provoking and intriguing words. You have filled this space with what is 100% you, opening up so honestly. I will miss seeing the places your camera takes you and the tales you tell with their sage advice. I will miss hearing about your realizations as you go through your journey. I will miss your musings, the art and the pictures you share that complement your posts so nicely. Most of all, I will miss your continued presence in this space. I hate goodbyes–always have, always will–but a GOODbye is the best kind to end something good…I guess the cliche “all good things must come to an end” is true. It’s your life and you know what is best for you and why you choose to discontinue with the cyber clan who has come back to this virtual place you’ve created and filled with worthwhile posts impacting people. I wish for you a life well lived, being true to yourself and filled with all that you hope for so that when you reflect in your golden years, you will smile and say, “I have lived my life well”. I leave you with a poem I discovered that was read at the end of a documentary I watched:
    A Life Well Lived

    Ready or not, some day my Life will end.

    There will be no more sunrises, days, hours or minutes.

    No more cell phones or calls and mail to be returned.

    Every thing I will have collected, be it treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

    My wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

    It will not matter what I owned or what I was owed.

    My grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.

    So will my hopes, ambitions, plans, and To Do List: All will expire with me.

    The wins and losses that once seemed so important to me, will fade away.

    It won’t matter where I was born or what side of the tracks have I lived.

    It won’t matter if I rented, or owned a house or lived on a boat.

    It won’t matter whether I was clever, beautiful or brilliant.

    My gender, skin color, ethnicity will be irrelevant.

    So what WILL matter?

    What will be the measure of my days,weeks and years passed?

    How will my life be valued?

    What will matter is not what I bought, but what I have chosen to build.

    Not what I received, but what I have shared and given you.

    What will matter is not the level of my success, but my significance.

    What will matter is not what I learned, but what I have taught.

    What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage and sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate from my example.

    What will matter is not my competence, but my integrity and character; my true grit.

    What will matter is not how many people I have known, rich or poor,
    But how many will feel a lasting loss when I am gone.

    What will matter are not my faded memories,
    But the memories of those who knew and have loved me.

    What will matter is how long I will be remembered, by whom, and for a
    kaleidoscope of reasons, like a brilliant rainbow.

    Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.

    It’s not a matter of circumstance.

    It is one made of choice; one of my own choosing.

    And in so doing, I dance and write my name with Destiny.

    I Choose to live a life that matters.

    Copyright © Donna Maris

    A big THANK YOU for sharing…I hope you choose to come back and keep us posted about your successes and failures or to simply share your thoughts in what you have built here. Will you return to write the review of “The Fountainhead”? Will you return on January 26, 2013 to inform us of the outcome of the bet coming to fruition? These are two good reasons to return and say hello, don’t you agree?

    If we want to change our lives, we must welcome change, accept what cannot be changed and let go of what hinders our growth and momentum forward. You make it count.

    Wishing you a happy journey!
    ❤ Sunshine
    Numbers 6:24-26 (NIV)


  8. hidekosakura says:

    i only find out about unmasked about almost a year and i identified with most of things u wrote in ur blog . i hope u find out that u didn’t tried enough and find the motivation and inspiration to be the type of man u want for u to be . u might not come back even if u become that person that u want to be and that u learn to live without masks and that u realize that being who u are or what u want to be is enough for the people that truly cares for you .
    so i wish u the best luck in the world in this new chapter in ur life .


  9. iAM says:

    I can really relate to this post. And I think many of us have been in this situation in our lives. There are so many ways to live a life and sometimes we get caught in one routine, one cylce, one circuit and forget there are other possibilities. Alternately we want to taste as much as possible and never really make progress with one particular path consistently, never dig too deep, afraid of what we’ll find or the work required to maintain and sustain. Life is such a trip.
    But I also want to say that I understand because I’ve been spending the last four years of my life investing much of my time in other people (well, more like a dream world with one other person) and not as much into the work and strides I could have been making in my work and service to the world. But tonight, I have a sense that god has it all set for us. For me. That I had to, you have to, we all have to take it one step at a time and do te best we can with as much enthusiasm as possible. And I have been applying so much of myself to purifying my mind and heart and body so that I can see clearly what steps I need to take, and how to take them. With what attitude and it’s a constant job to stay on myself, to keep those boundaries up and supporting remembering and supporting commitment to staying clean so that the good stuff from that mystical and all-knowing, all-revealing source can flow through me. For myself and others. Hopefully my progress will accelerate and hopefully I will be ready to take it to the next level in life.
    I have faith you can too. Keep your eyes to the sky. And remember, only through the heart can you reach the sky.

    Blessings on your path…..


  10. Carey says:

    You can’t fail. Don’t fail.
    You must take back control.


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